Look at me, I'm another blogger: Let me please you!

Don’t be a perv, I said please, not pleasure. Let’s talk a little bit about how I’m a people pleaser.

For as long as I can remember I’ve been one. Which is super weird because I actually think I’m super selfish (a trait I’m not proud of but am aware of and try to work on). Anyway, I’ve always wanted to do what will make other people happy but I don’t always have the candor to do it well. I remember in college having two different sets of friends call to hang out and I’d be like, yeah, I’ll call you later… No I wouldn’t. I was a total dick about it and I’d ditch them for the other group of friends and then I’d see them downtown and then they’d be mad. I didn’t do it to intentionally hurt people but I ended up hurting them in the end instead of the band aid effect and just told them quickly in the beginning. It’s weird, because even if I already had plans I didn’t want to let anyone down and would always try and make everyone happy but instead of telling the truth, I already have plans (which happens) why couldn’t I just say that? I’d try and make it work, which made me feel awful because I was letting people down, and made them feel bad because they assumed I was lying or blowing them off. I guess more than being a people pleaser I don’t like confrontation… probably another blog.

Anyway, this month I have felt like the world’s most horrible sister, daughter, and auntie. We’ve been super busy getting the old house ready to put on the market (Who wants to be my neighbor?!!! Running buddy bff’s? I can see it now!) So we’ve been scraping walls and floors, cleaning carpets, painting, spackling, you name it, we’ve done it. But because of this I’ve blown off my sister twice when I know she needed help which led to me pseudo-ignoring her phone calls which makes me feel even worse. Like, I couldn’t help her but instead of just telling her and being honest I ignored her which made her even more upset. I just, I HATE to hurt people but I also don’t think I’m good at setting boundaries. My husband travels, we have two weeks to get the house ready to sell, I need to be selfish for two weeks but feel guilty. WHY??!

Side note-I had an AMAZING run today. 6.17 miles in 47:03. Like, not like, “oh I’m amazing at running” amazing run, an “I felt good, I pushed myself, the sun was shining and it was fun”, amazing run.

I want to be a better human.