Dear Husby, I miss you! (ATTN: Extreme lovey doveyedness ahead)

I’m so proud of my husband; he’s in Kentucky right now because we just purchased 59 more stores throughout the state and just into Indiana, making our empire (The Empire?) seven states strong. However, all of his amazing accomplishments mean he’s gone kinda a lot. Before we started dating, he traveled all the time for work, then, when we started dating and even leading up to the wedding I was spoiled, he’d only be gone a couple days a quarter. I knew it was too good to be true because  I also know how much he loves his company and what it stands for so he works hard to make it successful. His company name is Fourteen Foods which is taken from Matthew 14 in the bible, it’s the parable about the feeding of 5,000. Husby takes the opportunities he’s been given in life and tries to share them with others to help make their lives better. He knows that by expanding our business, he’s helping the people who are involved. I just love him!

Anyhoo, I’m just starting on two weeks of him being gone after six days home and another week gone prior to that. At first, it’s awesome, I can sit around and watch Kourtney and Kim take New York or Real Housewives while eating Mac & Cheese for dinner. I can run whenever I want, I can wear sweatpants and I don’t have to shave my legs. In essence, it seems awesome. And then, I try to go to bed. When I was single I never had a problem falling asleep but now that I’m married, when Husby’s gone, I can’t sleep. I’m sure that every burglar/ghost/psycho is trying to break into the house. And that the noise in the basement isn’t just the heater kicking on, it’s the ax murderer who has been hiding down there until I fall asleep. The ice/snow shifting on the roof is a rabid raccoon stuck in the attic, waiting to attack. So, I leave my DVD on to fall asleep to. Have you ever tried to fall asleep to the Curb your Enthusiasm theme song add to that Fernando barking at his own shadow and it is a recipe for very, VERY fitful nights of sleep.

I’ve decided that only getting 20 hours of sleep every week he is gone isn’t really what I miss most about Husby though. I miss having someone to eat with, someone to talk about my day with and decompress, someone to run errands with and make the hell that is Ikea, not so bad. Braving Costco alone, while I love it, doesn’t seem so bad with my bestie by my side. Truly, after all the traveling he has been doing, I love him more. It makes me appreciate the small things he does every day. Well that and Fernando doesn’t talk back so the second half of Husby’s absence gets preeetttyyy, pretty long. Thank goodness for running and for good friends!

Love you Husby! See you in two weeks!

Bieber Fever

I’m burnin’ up. I’ve resisted for as long as possible, but it struck the other day while I was out running. I had on my mp3 player (I don’t own an iPod but that’s another story) which is so uncharacteristic of me because since I started running marathons and they weren’t allowed, I haven’t used one. So anyway, I have my mp3 tuned to our local hits stations KDWB, and I hear this pipsqueak voice and think to myself, I don’t even like this kid, what a bunch of hype! I go to turn it to another radio station, but accidentally pause. All of a sudden this kid I’d been trying to avoid had my full attention. It was like a car accident. I didn’t want to look but couldn’t turn away, I was hooked.

You smile, I smile….

Here's the link to the YouTube video of the song..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2ozuCXpVJY

What I’ve learned while doing my performance review at work:

1.       Always give yourself 5 out of 5; they take the average of your bosses score plus your score. So, even if I get a 1 from my boss(Oh I know, like I’d ever receive a one, this is HYPOTHETICAL) I still gave myself a  5 and we all know that 5+1=6/2=3. Which means, I am fully competent.

2.       Don’t be an overachiever. It makes others look bad and gives you more room to fail. Set the bar low, there’s no shame in setting yourself up to “exceed (a 4 but of course we know you’re going to get a 5)” the next year. One of my goals, join the blog team. Literally I walk 5 feet to a conference room, sit through a half an hour, and walk 5 feet back to my desk. Goal accomplished. It took me three years but I learned my lesson after receiving a 2 on a goal I didn’t really care about to begin with. (PS. 5+2=7/2=3.5. See?)

3.       Lie. Honestly, it’s fine. There are going to be sections you don’t agree with but companies don’t like the truth, your boss doesn’t want to hear about the negatives of the company and really, who wants to work with Debbie Downer?! It took me three days and a lot of loud music blaring through my headphones to muster up the inner strength to write something nice in one section this year. They’ll know, it’s sweet enough to give you a cavity. I figured being extra sweet and enthusiastic was my passive way of getting out how I really feel.

4.       Be concise. The fewer words you use, the shorter the review process is.

5.       Send emails of praise to your colleagues. No seriously, try it. Or send it to their boss. You’re going to get a BUNCH of emails back that pertain to your rockstaredness and/or awesomeness, your boss will EAT THESE UP! Plus they can be used nearly anywhere, teambuilding, communication, perhaps under your companies values. Plus, your colleagues probably really are awesome; let them know you appreciate them. Heck, send them an email right now!

6.       Copy & Paste. Unless it’s your first year. Then, please review no’s. 1-5.

7.       Finally, spell check. Nothing makes ME more annoyed than receiving “constructive criticism” when the grammar or spelling is poor. Don’t let this be you.

XOXO,

Fully Competent

Public Restrooms

Maybe it’s just me but… aren’t public restrooms weird? TMI for sure but I was thinking about this yesterday at work when the girl in the stall next to me was on her phone. Is nothing private anymore?! She probably tweeted about it after she got out… OMG, LOLZ WUZ just in the bathroom 4-EVR. PU! It also grosses me out a little bit when I see people from other floors in my bathroom. I mean, come on, I know what you’re doing, our floor actually also thinks it’s disgusting so we make fun of you for that and then a little bit extra because you’re the creep who does it on a floor that isn’t yours. AND, to those of you who don’t wash your hands. Seriously? I bet my Little Brenda in Uganda who doesn’t even have clean water, knows to wash her hands when she is done. And she is three.  Just. Gross. When I’m in the restroom and I hear someone NOT wash their hands I try and see their shoes so I can tell everyone about it. That’s how germs are spread, are you trying to give me salmonella! I remember even at the bar in college I would wash my hands!  And what about this? Does the name Larry Craig ring a bell? Yeah, he was the senator busted in our airport doing the “foot tap”. Seriously, the bathroom is the least sexy place I can think of. If I were the recipient  of the foot tap I’d give him another idea about where he could put his foot! On the other hand, I bet he could too. Gross.

I guess what I’m saying is, have a little respect. This is a very private thing we’ve been forced to share with others so at least have a little respect for other people. And “Cell Phone” don’t think I’m not going to make fart noise with my hands the next time we meet in the bathroom….

Why does Jay-Z always say he's going to buy a mall?

I get it, they're fantastic, some better than others. I live in Minnesota, home of the Mall of America. I've been in fabulous malls like the ones in the casinos of Vegas where, should I want to, could spend 10's of thousands of dollars. On a purse. And, I've been to ones where I could spend 10's of thousands, on the mall (uughh, no offense Central Square Mall, kisses!) But I would NEVER want to own one. I've seen the vacancy; it's got to be really hard to keep tenants. I mean, how many pairs of specialty socks can you really sell? Even better, Love Sack? Seriously?! How is that company still in business? IT would seem that a grocery store or perhaps a gas station might be a wiser investment? People HAVE to eat and well, while they don't HAVE to buy gas, they will. Even this summer at $5 a gallon gas stations are still going to be busy. 74% of our population is considered obese, it's not like all of a sudden they're going to start biking to work. (Please, I beg of you, prove me wrong!). So, Mr. Hova, I guess what I'm saying is, please weigh your options carefully before buying a mall to prove to all the other rappers just how smart you are. 

XOXO, one of your biggest fans.

I got lucky for two hours and man, am I sore!

Gotcha! The name of the race I ran this morning was put on by one of my favorite foundations, Team Ortho http://teamortho.us/ and was called Get Lucky! Which I did, by the skin of my teeth. I got lucky by running a 1:59:59. LOL, I don't know a luckier time than that. I can't say I'm not surprised, the one, 10 mile training run I did a month ago clearly paid off.... Perhaps at least one more training run would have done me good, my calves are tight, my ankles ache and my hip flexors feel like they're going to explode. Not to mention the small of my back feels like someone hit it with a baseball bat. (Unless, did you? Anyone?) And you know what? I truly did get lucky today, I got to run 13.1 miles. How many people can say that? For so many reasons people aren't able to run in an awesome race like 1328 other people and I did this morning. It makes me so thankful for all I have. When I'm blessed with something special like this event, I think of my little Brendy in Uganda and wonder if she gets to eat today. Don't hesitate to check out http://www.compassion.com/ to find your own compassion child. Just recently I sent Brenda some stickers, tomorrow I'm going to sit down and write her a note to let her know how lucky we are to have her.

I promise, I'm usually funny!

But tonight I'm really nervous, I promise these'll get better! This is my first blog, well, not technically I suppose because I write for the company I work for. I really enjoy it. Except for the time I wrote about having Bieber Fever... I've never had so many 14 year old boys mad at me. My dad would have been very busy washing people's mouths out with soap. I mean, if he knew what a blog was and then read my post.

I love to run. I'm laying low this beautiful Friday evening in preparation for a half marathon tomorrow morning. I have to be honest, I'm a little nervous but not for the usual reason. I know I can run 13 miles, NBD. The reason I'm nervous is because the last race I ran in March I almost died. No, seriously! I live in Minnesota so March tends to still be pretty chilly, snow on the ground anyway. I took off like a shot and was having a great race but didn't want to bonk (Google “hitting the wall”, TONS of articles http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-238-267--13873-0,00.html ) so I pulled a package of Sport Beans out of my pocket to keep my energy up. Here is where disaster strikes; since it was cool out, my nose was plugged. In and of itself, not the end of the world, I can still breathe out of my mouth. Until I pop in the hardened jelly beans and start chomping. All of a sudden I can't breathe out of my mouth or nose. After a couple of touch and go minutes, I was fine. However, due to the circumstances, I'm sure you can see my apprehension to run another race in March. Wish me luck!

Again, I promise, next time I'll try and be my usual witty self. Please don't hesitate to let me know what I can do better or if there's anything you'd like to read about.